8.11: Marital Endings and Surprising Revelations

   "This is ridiculous." I muttered to myself as I lay stretched out on the balcony's deck chair. Maya had decided that I couldn't sleep downstairs on the couch; the girls might see me and then they would know that mommy and daddy weren't getting along. I wanted to shelter my children as much as possible, but Phoebe eleven was and Marlo was seven. Old enough to be observant, yet not quite old enough to comprehend what their observations meant.

   All of this misery because I didn't think that it was worth buying the resort. So what? Why did that suddenly mean that I deserved to sleep outside like a dog? I sighed. If I slept outside, I only fueled Maya's idea that she could get me to do whatever she wished. The couch I might have slept on and obeyed, but a wooden chair? Dammit I had limits. 

   I stood up, hoping that it wasn't too late to reassemble my dignity. My ego was beyond repair, but maybe I could borrow some of Phoebe's construction paper and pink duct tape and tape the pieces onto the paper, filling in the gaps with her sketching pencils and glitter. I stood up, realizing something. It was rather chilly outside when it was three am and you were in boxers and that t-shirt you got for free after you signed up for diving lessons to find your now she devil wife. 

   I opened the sliding glass door, stepping inside the home, into the AC, which was rather nice. Inside it was pleasantly chilly, not  nature chilly. I wonder if ex-mermaids thought of inside chilly like I thought of nature chilly. After all, they lived outdoors, in nature. I had to stop lingering. I had something to say to Maya. 

   I quietly opened our bedroom door, expecting to find her sound asleep in bed. Surprisingly she was sitting on an impulse of a buy chair watching early morning soaps.

   "Maya?" I whispered, wanting to make sure that the girls didn't hear me.

   "Harbor." I heard her say, still concentrated on the television screen, in a tone I couldn't analysis. It wasn't anger, wasn't relief, wasn't sadness. What was it?

   "Mind it I sit?" I asked, silently shutting the door, then I walked over to her and sat down, not waiting for a response. "Whatchya watching?" 

   "Going for the  small talk first approach. Nice." I shrugged, then turned to watch the couple that was embracing as wistful music played in the background. "Okay... they're actually related. See she, Marybeth, was engaged o this one guy, Charles St. Patrick Sr. He slept with her mother and out of rage Marybeth's best friend, who is a guy named Frank, killed him. Or so we think. After the funeral episode  Marybeth is sneaking away from some cheap inn after having paid for this hooker, Scarlet, to come and meet her. She was going to swear off guys by banging a lady of then night, but changed her mind at the last minute after finding out that Scarlet was actually Charles in drag. Frank killed Charles' twin brother Cameron. Charles was adopted, though; he is actually Marybeth's dead father's brother."

   "That was... more than I wanted to know." I said, after she gave me a ten minute spiel about season seven's whole plot.

   "Sorry."

   "It's okay... I was thinking."

   "That's a first."

   "No, seriously. We need to  talk-"

   "About our marriage." 

   "It just... I think we..."
   "Yeah." She sighed. "You know, my... I feel like a real bitch sometimes. Usually after I say crap and all."
   "You act like one." I muttered, under my breath.
   "Ugh! See, you provoke me, you little son of a bi- oh. Hell. Still, I want this perfect family and you're preventing me from getting it, so I become pissed and go al bitchy, but if you would only, you know, let me be perfect and have this perfect family, it wouldn't happen."

   "I don't think it is all me. I think both of us need accountability."
   "Accountability can go blow itself."
   "Maya!" I exclaimed. "What the hell?"
   "I just... Excuses, right?"
   "What are we going to do?"
   "About our marriage... I don't know."
   "We have to do something. This isn't working. There's no sugar coating it, no saying maybe or lying and saying it is just a phase. We've been married for twelve years and frankly it has been down hill since Pho was a toddler."
   "I know! Open marriage."
   "What? How does that fix anything?"
   "Well... you can go find some hooker and be less stressed, causing you to be nicer to me."
   "I'm not cheating on you. That isn't a fix."

   "But I'd get to cheat on you, too. And we'd know. So in a way it isn't really cheating... You have one wrong, I've got one so there's none."
   "Or we have two. No open marriage."
   "I'm trying to come up with a solution. See? You never accept my ideas."
   "I would if they were reasonable."
   "What's reasonable, then? Tell me, dammit." Her light hearted mood disappeared, turning into an angry mood that wasn't going to be pleasant.
   "I don't know! What to other couples do?"
   "Hell, I don't know. Open marriages worked on Arrested Development."
   "One, no. We aren't doing that. Two, didn't it just create a bigger issue for Tobias and Lindsay?"
   "I don't know, I'm only half way through the season, so no spoilers." She glanced back at the television screen, where a bride was freaking out about how there was no hair spray left. "Harbor. I..." She took a deep breath. "I don't think we can do this."
   "We're headed downhill. The kids don't deserve this." I admitted and it was true. I loved Phoebe  and Marlo, I wasn't sure what I felt towards Maya, I assumed at the time it was love, but not I realized it was just lust, curiosity, attachment to all I'd ever known, and adrenaline. Children deserve a happy family and Maya and I weren't happy together; the constant bickering and petty silent treatments showed it.
   "What to they deserve?"
   "Honestly better than us fighting all the time. They deserve peace and being able to go to the movies without arguing over calories in candy and how we cannot afford the jumbo sized extra butter, extra salt popcorn."
   "So are we ending this?"
   "What the hell is this?"
   "Our marriage, Harbor." She whispered. "I knew you came in here to be serious. You came in wanting a solution and there is only one."
   "I know. Divorce."
   "Yes." She shuttered. "I guess... this really is the end of our marriage, isn't it?"
   "I never thought we'd end like this."
   "Did you think we'd ever end?"
   "Uh huh." I admitted. As soon as Maya changed I knew that we would. "Just not like this. Not at six am watching soaps."

   "Ironic, isn't it?" She said glancing at the newlyweds kissing on screen. "Everything ends and begins simultaneously."

Maya's Point of View...

   Harbor and I were getting a divorce. Lovely. I knew that things were bad, but I couldn't help but wonder why he let them get this way. Shouldn't he have realized that every time, every damn time, he denies me the privilege- no the right- to something that will make our family picture perfect, things get bad? I couldn't tell him this; he'd ignore me. Better to go along with it. It wasn't like he treated me right anyways; alone I could achieve perfection.

   I walked over to the bookcase where the phone book was perched between volumes one and two of the boaters guide to boating. Why did we need those books? Harbor wouldn't let us get a damn boat. I sighed, thinking of what else we weren't aloud to get. Maybe I will get a boat after the divorce. Maybe I'll get that diamond and emerald encrusted nail polish. Hmm... maybe I could get his money and buy what I needed. I suppose divorce would be nice, after all.

   I picked up the phone book and moved over to the couch to sit. Let's see. Divorce lawyers, divorce lawyers; that was what I needed. Harbor was going to pick his and I was going to pick mine, then we'd get together and do what people who are getting a divorce do. I thumbed to the correct page and glanced at the number.

   I stood up, grab my cell phone, and began dialing the law office's number. I wonder why you would become a divorce lawyer. It had to get pretty nasty with petty exes who were nothing like me. If anything, they were probably all needy and selfish like Harbor, never compromising.

   "Sawyer and Sawyer Divorce Lawyers, how may I help you?"
   "Um, yes I would like to get a divorce."
   "Alrighty. What's your name, please?"
   "Maya Janes, J-A-N-E-S, like the girls name, plural, not Jones."
   "Just a minute let me look you up in the city's data base." I heard the secretary click-clacking away at the keyboard for a few seconds, before she asked, "Is that your maiden name?"
   "No, it is Bayonet. B-A-Y-O-"
   "Okay." I heard more clicking and clacks before a befuddled female asked, "Um, do you go by anything else? Is Maya a middle name  or nickname?"
   "No." I said, curious as to what was going on. "Why?"
   "I'm sorry, miss, but it appears that there is no marriage file for Maya Janes or Maya Bayonet. What's you husband's name?"
   "Harbor Janes." I replied, hoping that she was just incompetent and nothing was actually wrong.
   "I'm sorry, the only thing that appears is when he was granted citizenship, w Isla hen his children were born, and that he is a city employee."
   "What showed for me?" I asked. I needed the money from the divorce; I was calling for myself, not him. "Miss, it showed that you have two children, but not citizenship or anything."

   "I am a citizen! My family has- oooh." I paused. I was a mermaid; I may have lived in Paradiso's waters since birth, but I had never actually registered to be a citizen because mermaids couldn't come into contact with humans. "Um... what is the policy for getting a license?"
   "First, both applicants must come to the Family Division of the superior Court. Did you do that?"
   "No my husband, well suppose to be, got the papers."
   "There are two one hundred dollar fees, one for the filing of the marriage application, one when the license is picked up eight days later. Did you pay either?"
   "We got a piece of paper from city hall in about an hour... no fee paid."
   "Alright." I heard her sigh.  "Miss, did you ever get a license or return the paper you signed?"
   "No..."
   "So you never filled out any paperwork, ever? Did you have any witnesses, were you symbolically married by a religious officiator or judge?"
   "Yes and no."
   "According to the government, you cannot get a divorce then."
   "What?! This is outrageous. I demand to get a divorce."
   "One, miss, you must pay fifty dollars to the court and a petition for divorce before consulting a lawyer's office, second you are no married."
   "Wait... I'm- what?"
   "You can go to the court an inquire, but I'm going to save you time and inform you that if you didn't pay an fees, didn't fill out forms, had no witnesses or anything, and followed none of the proper procedures you are not legally married."
   "I'm not married?"
   "No, miss, you are not. That is why all your file info is under the name Maya Bayonet, because, since you were never married, you name was never changed."

   "We have children together."
   "I understand that miss. You can go to court over custody, but you cannot divorce."
   "Um... what about bank accounts?" Money was what was important; not my needy, aggravating spawn.
   "Do you have any joint accounts? Are your assets under both of your names?"
   "No. Harbor has an account and the car and home is under his name, not mine."
   "Legally, you have no right to either. Would like me to transfer you to someone who specializes in custody or monetary assets?"
   "No thank you. One quick question, who has rights to our children?"
   "If you do not go to court to work something out, it is up to you to."
   "Um, thanks. Bye..." I hung up, a bit baffled. Harbor and I weren't married. I had no job, no home, nothing. It all belonged to Harbor. What was I going to do? I had nothing. Hmm... this is going to get interesting.