8.9: Countless Conflicts and Second Babies

   Maya and I were standing in the houseboat's kitchen discussing my now over life guard career and potential desk job, as well as our future family home, as Phoebe napped in her crib.
   "Did you quit your job yet?" Maya asked for the tenth time that night.

   "I pulled some strings and begin my office job Monday, I have two more days to keep the beach safe." I technically hadn't quit, I had been moved to a different department run by the city of Isla Paradiso.
   "Okay, good. Wait, two days!?"
   "It isn't that long. The pay period is monthly, so I'm going to work a full month before stopping."
   "Harbor." She said, rolling her eyes. "I told you three months ago what we wanted, that means two months ago you should have stopped lifeguarding."
   "The summer is the busiest, they needed the help. I got a bonus."
   "But, that office job offers a fifteen cent raise every six months, biweekly pay that is hourly, not based off of how many lives you save, with a New Year's and Fourth of July bonus."

   "I know and six months from now, you'll be in labor and I'll get a raise." I quietly said, trying to refrain from sounding rude. Ever since she found out she was pregnant three months ago, she had been much more pushy, to the point where I wanted to scream. Not that I would ever do that to my pregnant wife; it didn't matter what was going on, when fighting with a lady who was expecting, you were always the bad guy.
   "Harbor, honey." She shook her head and softened her tone, acting as if I was clueless. "We're going to have a house payment soon. Two months will make a big difference, if only you had listened four months from now you'd have gotten a bonus and I would be attending top notch birthing class because I'd be seven months along."
   "I'm just saying that in the grand scheme of things-"
   "Harbor, I just want you to be safe. Phoebe and the baby need their daddy."
   "Stop saying my name like that, please." I said through clenched teeth.

   "Like what?" She innocently asked.
   "Patronizingly."
   "Why would I talk like that? I'm just saying..." She looked down at her feet. Here it comes. "Th-th-that I love you so much and care so much!" She blubbered on about caring and how my foolish, risky behavior showed how selfish I was and how she married a kind man and I should act like him, not this ridiculous person who refused to acknowledge that change was good. "A-and after all of that, I mean, how could you not agree? See you and Phoe are my only family. How could you do that to us?"
   "I care, Maya. Honestly I do. I love you and Phoebe and the baby so much that words cannot describe it, I just don't understand why two days or two months is such a large deal."
   "So you're sorry and admit that you're wrong?"
   "I didn't say-"
   "Oh good!" She leaned forwards, hugging me. "By the way, I found a house that we're getting. Three bedrooms, two bath, it is just pure lovely."
   "Okay. Yes." For the second time I agreed to a major life change, reluctantly, as my wife blindly ignored my nonverbal clues. It was so much easier to make her happy then to try and fight for what I wanted.

Six months later...

 

   My job was filing papers. Filing papers. I took sloppily filled out forms, typed all the data into the computer, then printed the typed form and stuck it in a filing cabinet. I didn't think that desk jobs would be as exciting as life guarding, I just thought it wouldn't be a glorified secretary position. I couldn't complain, though. Pay was decent, benefits alright, and Maya was happy that it was safer than my old job and constantly reminded me of this fact.

   "How are my two girls?" I asked, as I walked into the front lobby slash living room of our new home. Maya had informed me that she liked this house, it had enough bedrooms and bathrooms, and was only a little bit out of our price range. Little, used in that sentence, meant ten thousand six hundred dollars.

   "I'm good, daddy." Phoebe said, as she sat in my wife's lap, looking up from the story Maya was reading her about creativity. 

   "That's good. Did you have fun today with mommy?"

   "Yeah. We read books and I drew with crayons!"

   "What did you draw?"

   "Our house."

   "Wow, bet it is really pretty. You're a good artist."

   "Thank you, daddy." Phoebe said, her tiny cheeks turning crimson.

   "Harbor, please don't flatter her. We want modest children, not children who are praised for every tiny thing they do, okay? Vanity isn't appealing."

   "Sorry, hon. I don't think one compliment about her crayon picture is going to go to her head, though."

   "You don't know that. Are you going to applaud the child when it emerges from my womb? Congratulations, you did something the majority of the population did in order to be alive."

   "It will be okay." I said through gritted teeth. Maya's hormones left her temperamental more often then not... or at least I hoped it was pregnancy hormones. if this was the new her, what would I do? "Take my hand." I said, bending down a bit.

   "Why? I'm reading to Phoe."

   "Because..." I sighed. "I would like to do something."

   "Look, I-" I took a hold of her hand as Phoebe wobbled off to the side, taking ahold of the handmade doll my sister Basil had sent. She'd apparently bought it while traveling through some foreign country, pursing the art of landscape photography. 

    "I wanted to do that." I said, after I planted a kiss firmly on her lips. "Because I love you and I thought it served as a decent hello."
   "Harbor..." She said, staring into my eyes. "You're such a good kisser. Did I ever tell you that?"
   "Nope, but you did now."
   "I love you... you know I'm just trying to do what is best, right?"
   "Yeah, I know. You're a great mother, just keep in mind just because you agree with something doesn't mean that it is what is best."
   "Haha, yeah. Funny." She chuckled.
   "I wasn't kidding."
   "You know I know best. You were, weren't you, though?" She kept laughing, assuming that my statement was simply there for comic relief.
    "I..." Once again, I didn't bother trying to correct her. Was it my fault she was this way? I didn't correct her because I didn't want a full blown fight; our small skirmishes were bad enough. "How was your day?" Was what I asked, instead of stating my opinion.
   "Oh, fine." She said. "Hey, stop that!" She pushed my head away from her neck hat I ad just begun kissing. "We don't want to do too much in front of Phoebe, she'll grow up slutty."
   "It was just a couple pecks. I'm sure she won't remember, but if she does she'll know her parents loved each other and won't be prudish about kissing."
   "Are you being funny again? I swear, you marry a man with a sense of a humor and he never stops cracking jokes. Speaking of jokes, Phoebe thought of a name for the baby if she is a she."
   "What is it?"
   "Oh, I don't know... It was silly and I'm fairly certain it is going to be named Levi, cause he'll be a guy."

   "Okay, still doesn't hurt to have suggestions." I helped Maya get get back onto her feet properly, then walked over to Phoebe and picked her up. "What did ya want to name the baby if it's a girl?"
   "Marlo!"
   "Marlo?" I asked. Marlo wasn't a bad name; at least it was a real name and not something like Princess Sparkles. "I like it." I said, smiling.
   "No, no. Hon, ask her how she'd spell it." Maya insisted.
   "Em, ah, R, el, oh." Phoebe said. "Marlo! My sissy's name."
   "M-A-R-L-O? That's how I would spell it. What's wrong with it?"
   "Um, no W at the end."
   "Spelling doesn't matter much, does it? I mean, if it does't change the pronunciation."

   "But I like it with a W."
   "I know,  either way the name is pretty."
   "Well. Still, honey you don't understand."
   "Alright." I sighed. "Don't you think it is a boy, anyways?"
   "Yeah, but with a W is the right way."
   "Okay, momma." Phoebe said. "You told me I getta meet sissy or brother next week, so it okay. ou getta talk about Marlo, my sissy more."
   "She's right we can chat about it. Let's not stress we have a week."
   "But, Harbor! W. That's final. Aren't you listening to me? Dammit-"
   "Careful, Phoebe's listening."
   "Earlier I thought you said it was okay for you to kiss my neck because she wouldn't remember. Please explain."
   "I'm... nevermind. Sorry."
   "Thank you." She said, as I began walking towards the kitchen. "Where are you going?"
   "I figured since it was nice out I'd go to the patio with Phoebe."
   "But I was reading to her."
   "I know, I just-"
   "Look, you keep assuming stuff and I'm tired of it."
   "Sorry, I know that there's a bit of conflict between us right now, with all the changes, just... we need to keep a stable head."
   "Stable head." She calmly said. "Okay... sorry, I..."
   "Mama... you're wet." Phoebe pointed to Maya's jeans.

   "FUDGE. Honey, get the car. I'm having a baby." I began panicking, holding Phoebe and running to get her hospital bag in order. After a few moments I managed to get Phoebe buckled into her car seat, help Maya into the vehicle, and begin driving towards the hospital. After a short, and very drugged up, labor Maya and I had momentarily forgotten our petty argument because we had another child. A daughter, names Marlo. M-A-R-L-O. I hadn't been able to keep my dream job, our houseboat, got no say in which family home we owned or the car we drove, but I managed to have my daughter who I instantly fell in love with named what my first little girl wanted. That was enough for now.

8.8: Family and Sacrifice

   Our, mine and Maya's, third wedding anniversary was today and we had decided to celebrate by taking our adorable little two year old Phoebe to the beach.. It was a warm, summer day and the beach was almost completely empty; only the soothing sounds of waves, aggravating gull squawks, and the sound of a mother calling for her children to come because it was time to leave were there to greet our ears.

   "Harbor, I was thinking..." Maya began, holding Phoebe with her right arm.
   "What, honey?"
   "Well, I just-"
   "Mama, daddy I wanna play!" Phoebe let out a high pitched gurgle of words.
   "Daddy and mama are talking." I said to her. "We play soon, okay?"
   "Soon, now." She said, looking up at me with her mint green eyes.
   "We can talk later." Maya shrugged, pulling off her cover up to reveal her red and white polka dotted bikini top.

   "Yay! Zoom, zoom!" Phoebe exclaimed, as Maya gently dipped her toes in the water, as our little darling clapped.
   "You having fun?" I asked, as I splashed Maya a little.
   "Brr, Harbor that's cold."
   "You were looking so hot, I figured you'd need something to help you cool off, before the beach caught on fire from your flaming looks." I winked at her, as she blushed crimson.
   "Oh, stop it." She playfully pushed water back at me, while Phoebe stared intently at her pinkie toe. She dipped it in the water, pulled it  out, dipped it back in, and so fourth.
   "My toe wrinkly." She said, trying to grab a hold of it. "I don't like wrinkly toe."
   "It's okay, Phoebe, your toe is wrinkly because of the water. It'll stop once you dry off a bit." Maya said.
   "Me don't like it. It weird."

   "It is just because of the water, your toe is okay."
   "Nah, nah! Toe weird." She crossed her arms, shunning the wrinkly toe. I sighed. Only my daughter, the child of an ex-mermaid, who we all expected to absolutely love the water, would be upset over something as trivial as a wrinkled pinky toe.
   "Harbor, I'm feeling a little hot, I think I'm going to relax under our umbrella and try to cool off, okay?"
   "See, I knew you were way too attractive for this beach to handle."
   "That makes no sense..." She laughed. "Good thing you're pretty. Here, take Phoebe. Mama's gonna rest." 
  "Wanna come to daddy?" I asked her.
  "Yeah! Mama bye bye." She waved to Maya, who slowly waded out of the ocean's waves, to the sandy shores.

   "Do you like the water?" I asked her.
   "Yeah, daddy. I wanna go build sandcastle, like them peoples."
   "Alright." I smiled. She'd never built a sandcastle before; today was going to be a day of firsts for her. She held onto my shoulder, as I waded over towards Maya. She was laying on a towel, reading a novel, the stereo blasting lullaby versions of AC/DC hits
   "Whatchya reading?"
   "Toddler Terrors: Getting Through the Troublesome Threes."
   "You don't think Phoebe will be a terrible, troublesome three year old, do you?" I chuckled, taken aback by how casually she could name off what sounded like the title of a memoir written by Satan's mother.
   "Well..." Maya glanced at Phoebe, who was pushing sand into a pile. "Toddler Terrors: The Tale of the Big Twos was pretty funny, plus the author was pregnant with her second and there is this section of artwork done by the three year old who is completely enraged by the idea of having to share a room. I don't think Phoe will be horrible, I just appreciate the laughs."
   "Yay! We done with castle." She stab a stick into the top, then looked at the masterpiece she had created. "Mama, what do ya think?"
   "I love it! So creative." Maya gushed.
   "Daddy helps me."
   "You and daddy did a great job."

   "Thank ya."
   "You're welcome. Oh, honey don't stick your hands in your mouth, they're dirty."
   "I'm hungry."
   "Oh you are? Harbor, did we bring snacks?"
   "I don't think so." I said, grabbing the beach bag. "I have a water bottle, but no goldfish or apple slices or anything."

   "Hm..." Maya stood up, lifting Phoebe into the air. "What do ya want to eat?"
   "Fruit."
   "Healthy. What kind of fruit?"
   "Apple."
   "Apple... Honey, could we go to the community gardens? It is about a quarter of a mile and has an on your honor program, a quarter equals a piece of fruit."
   "Okay." I said, slipping on my white tank top as Maya slipped back into her coverup. I packed up the umbrella, towel, and stereo and we were on our way.

    The garden was surrounded by a wooden fence and shining blue metal gate, generously donated by two local craftsmen. The garden was tended to by community members and seeds and saplings were bought by the local school from the hardware and outdoor care shop with money raised by their bake sales and car washes. It was quite lovely to have something created by the community for the community. You could easily help out, even if you had no gardening or handiness skills, by stopping by and exchanging your spare change for a delicious produce item that was organic and had no pesticides or chemicals sprayed on.

   "Here ya go." I said, handing Phoebe the apple I had just picked from the ripe tree.
   "Thank you, daddy."
   "You're welcome." I smiled, knowing that while I was helping keeping the beaches of Isla Paradiso safe, Maya was being a wonderful, nurturing mum. Speaking of Maya and motherhood, "Oh, yeah. what were you going to say at the beach?"
   "Here, sit next to me." She said, patting a spot on the concrete bench. I obeyed and sat, wondering if this is what the dog I never had as a child would have felt like.
   "What's up?"
   "Isn't Phoebe adorable?"
   "Just like her mother."
   "Oh... I'm not adorable." She laughed. "Her daddy is, though." She paused for a moment, looking from Phoebe to me and back again. "I was thinking... you know how I'm reading about how badly a toddler reacts to the fact that they're getting a younger sibling?" She didn't wait for a response. "I think Phoebe is the perfect age where she'd respond well."
   "Ar-are you pregnant?"

   "No... I want another child, though. Nine months from now, Phoebe will be a month over three. It is a good age gap, she'd be old enough so it isn't like we're constantly changing diapers, but young enough that she would still play with the kid... Harbor, will you have another baby with me?"
   "I-I mean, I'd like to have another child, Maya, but are we ready? The houseboat, my job..."
   "We'd have to get another house anyways, one bedroom won't work much longer. And I'd like for you to change your job."
   "I love my job!" I gasped. Maya knew I loved helping people and the beach; life guarding was the perfect combination of these things. Besides, with my lack of a college degree I doubted I'd seem like a great candidate for any position that made lots of money. I would do so much for her, but quit my job?
   "I know you do. it doesn't make lots though and it is dangerous. With two children, you can't really be risking your life for so little."
   "What could I do then?"
   "You've been a model employee, I'm sure they could find you a desk job within the city or something. Please? For me and Phoebe?"
   "I haven't even... it will make  you happy?" I was conflicted. I knew Maya wanted me to be happy, just like how I wanted her to be, but her maternal instincts told her that I was being unsafe and she was going to want to change that. "Okay."
   "Okay? As in yes to the job, yes to another baby, yes to a new house? A real house?"
   "Yes..." I sighed, looking at my blonde toddler who was gnawing on the apple I'd given her. It was a sacrifice, giving up the houseboat, quitting work, but it was the best for the family. I guess I wanted Phoebe to grow up knowing her daddy was safe and mommy was happy. "Let's do it all. The child, the house, the whole nine yards."
   "Yay! Thank you, thank you so much. Harbor we're going to have a perfect little family, this picture perfect family, don't you see? Your office job, the house, everything." She smiled, leaning forwards for a kiss. She was so ecstatic because I had said what she wanted to hear, she didn't realize what wasn't being said. The reluctance, the forced smile. Ignored because of three letters: Y, E, and S.

8.7: Get To Know

 NOTE: References, PG-15 or whatever age, I'm not an expert on ratings, you know the drill.

   "Are you sure it matches?" Maya asked me, nervously glancing at the crib I had just spent two hours assembling for our bouncing baby that would be arriving any day now. After our time in the cave together Maya did not end up pregnant, which cause her to be so upset she decided that she had to have a child right that instant and nature was wrong, so we, naturally, began acting like the horny newlyweds we were and tried every suggestion she'd turned down our wedding night until she was growing a human inside her. "I mean, it is blue and green, but the yellow..."

   "I think it looks perfect with everything." I smiled, trying to prevent a pregnancy meltdown. "At least we didn't get a pink one, then we'd defiantly get a boy and if we picked orange or something we'd get a girl."
   "That would never happen." She said, suddenly looking down at, well I'd say her feet but frankly she'd been complaining about not being able to see them for the last couple weeks.
   "Why not? With my luck, it seems possible."
   "No, no... Harbor I hate pink."
   "You do?"
   "Yeah." She continued looking down, as if this was the largest catastrophe ever. "Did you not know my least favorite color?"
   "Um..." I wasn't sure how to reply to the question. To be fair, Maya probably  didn't know mine, but bringing that up would cause her to say I was just trying to avoid the question. "I know your favorite one."

   "What is it?" She hopefully looked up at me.
   "Purple." It was simple, before she lost her powers her tail was purple, she had natural purple highlights, her seashell bras were all purple- she had to love the color.
   "No... Harbor, your favorite color is blue, right?"
   "No, it actually is green."
   "Oh... and mine is aqua, like the ocean." The silence that filled the air after she announced her favorite color was deafening. Why was this a large concern for her? I loved her, but I didn't understand her pregnancy brain a bit. Did any male?
   "It isn't a big deal, just a color."
   "Harbor, I don't know what your favorite color or food or anything really is."
   "We don't know much about each other..." It hit me like a brick wall. Normal married couples who were expecting knew basic, trivial facts like colors and parental info and which restaurant made you gag and whether or not you had an imaginary friend when you were a child. And we didn't. "But we can change that right now."
   "Harbor, we have so much and I still have to pick out a stroller."
   "I promise, we can do this quickly. You were upset that you didn't know my favorite color, and I love you and don't want you to be upset, so maybe... if we do this I'll feel better, okay?"
   "Alright." She said, smiling as she took a seat on the couch next to me.

   "Where do you want to begin?"
   "Parents. What were yours like?"
   "Well, my mother was insanely in love with gardening. She was even featured in this one magazine, Washington's Greener Gardens. She respected the Earth, recycled, was a vegetarian, carpooled, even did this one study on natural versus organic food."
   "You're from Washington? The capital?"
   "State. I lived in this tiny town, Appaloosa Plains."
   "So you're a small town boy?" She beamed, now she knew where my upbringing occurred and now she could tell people her husband was from Washington, the state. "What about your dad?"
   "Um..." I glanced down at my lap. "My father was an anonymous donor, see my parents are lesbians. Mother and mum loved each other an insanely large amount and they loved their children an insanely lot too, so I didn't really think twice about who my father was since it didn't matter, I already had two wonderful parents."
   "That's great! What were there names? And did anyone, you know make comments?"
   "People were pretty respectful to us... a few things were said, behind our backs, but I didn't care. Our family was happy, no matter what it looked like. My eldest sister's name was Basil, my mum's was Rosie, my mother's was Hazel, and my twin sister's was Wren."

   "You're so sweet. I'm so lucky that our squishy little child is going to have grandmothers and aunts so amazing... I doubt my parents will visit. I mean, they can't walk on land since I have the ring and they banned me because of seeing you..." The conversation lulled and I defiantly was not going to tell her that Wren disappeared the summer after high school graduation, the only clues to her whereabouts was a phone call claiming she won a vacation to Maine. "Hydrilla was my mother's name and Biden was my father's."
   "Nice names."
   "I suppose... not nearly as good as our child's will be, though."
   "Phoebe is she is a she, Levi if he is a he, right?"
   "Phoebe Janes or Levi Janes. The ring is nice, isn't it?"
   "Yes it is." I said, affectionately patting her bulging tummy. "And I can't wait to find out which one it'll be."
   "Ya know what my favorite food is? And it isn't like kelp or tuna or something you'd expect a mermaid to like. It's Smucker's grape jelly."
   "Really?" I chuckled. "Is jelly a food?"
   "Well, white bread is carbs and jelly is fruit and peanut butter is protein, so ya if you make a sandwich it is. Only leave off the peanut butter, because I've got this ridiculous allergy."
   "You're allergic to peanut butter?"
   "Yeah. Kinda weird, right? Mermaids don't have it, yet I can't eat it."
   "Good think I hate peanut butter... I love ravioli, though. Favorite food ever."
   "Ever? In the history of the world?" She asked, as she slid her hand from mine, onto my upper arm, sliding closer to me.
   "Ever." I replied, speaking softer.

   "Ever is a long time." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, holding her close to me. "But I suppose I could probably love you forever." She teased me.
   "You suppose? I suppose too."
   "Good. Because it isn't any fun supposing about love if you're the only one who does it." You know when couples have moments of emotion and they feel the inexplicable urge to broadcast said emotion? We had one of those moments.

   "I'm feeling so horny." Maya said, after we'd kissed. "You know, that's exactly what you said the night our little darling was conceived. Harbor, can we do it?"
   "It...?" I repeated. I loved Maya, but logically she was eight and three fourths months pregnant and it involved lifting and grunting and things I didn't think were great for people in her current state. "Maya, I can't be on top because I might hurt the baby, you can't because I haven't gone to the gym in three months and have lost a bit of muscle mass, and against the wall... same reasons."
   "Are you calling me fat?" She scoffed. "I am perfectly capable of it, thank you very much."
   "I'm not calling you anything other than pregnant! And I just, I mean I'd love to, but for your health and the baby's..."
   "What, is Mister Harbor Janes so excellent at it that he'd knock the life outta me?"
   "Could you please not joke about that?"
   "Sure, sorry... hey, what if we, you know? You asked once and I said no, so maybe all fours could work? Besides, it isn't exactly bending me over the counter backside ac-"
   "Oh gawd, Maya."
   "What, I'm feeling all horny because of these baby hormones. Please? I've already been pretty blunt. Please don't make me go into further detail."
   "Why would you think it is any different- Wait. Are you okay with it?"
   "Yep. Just said I was."

   "Well..." She began to rise, looking at me with an unreadable look. She took a step forwards, but instead of smoothly waddling she stepped onto her own foot, causing her to stumble. I hopped up and grabbed hold of her, keeping her from hitting the floor or coffee table.

   "My hero." She whispered, holding onto my waist. "See, you're so charming? I practically feel my ovaries bursting with material instincts."
   "So, is that still a yes? One more time before we've got little feet pitter pattering around?" I looked into her icy, ocean blue eyes, waiting for a response. She was so gorgeous, hopefully the baby would inherit her looks instead of mine. Blonde hair, a delicate porcelain skin tone, a nose that turned up at the end that was adorable. And curves- her curves were something to lust after. If the baby looked anything like her, I'd have plenty of stress when she, or he, turned into a young adult or high school student. "Maya?" I asked, wondering what had taken her so long to reply. Maybe she was lost in thought, like I had been?
   "Harbor."
   "Yeah?"
   "I don't think we're getting one more time."
   "Wait, did your-?"
   "Yes... hospital. Now." And with that the panic began setting in. We were no longer going to be Harbor and Maya plus one, we were going to be Harbor and Maya and Phoebe/Levi.

8.6 Part Two: Newlywed Excitement

Okay, so I split this and the wedding into two parts because this is a chapter that might have some suggestive stuff, etc, etc. and I didn't want to offend anyone so badly that they skipped the wedding. So don't read this if you're offended easily by sexual references and under a certain age/maturity level and stuff. You know, the disclaimer stuff.

   I carried my lovely mermaid bride, who I had been officially married to for about five minutes, across the threshold, into the bedroom. Marriage, so far, had been exactly the same as dating, other than the fact that Maya's last name was now Janes. I gently lowered her, as she swung her stilettos onto the wooden plank floor. Her puffy violet dress made a loud whooshing, as it hit the ground.
   "We're married, Harbor!" Maya exclaimed, examining her ring. "Can you believe it?"
   "No." I chuckled, staring down at my shoes. This was my wife talking to me! It hadn't sunk in yet, what we had done. We had tied the knot, made it official. "It's all a whirl."

   "A good one, though." She shyly placed her hand on my shoulder, feeling my muscles. "You're strong."
   "I try to get to the gym a couple times a week." I shrugged, acting as if my hours of lifting and perspiration were nothing.
   "What know?" She vocalized the question both of us were thinking.
   "Normally after the ceremony, there's a reception, dancing, the works. Obviously we skipped that part, though. Then, there's the honeymoon with all the honeymoon activities. We can't actually go some place but, we could, you know."
   "Have you ever?" She asked, suddenly lowering her hand from my shoulder and placing it at her side. "You know... it?"
   "No." I admitted, slightly embarrassed. I'd never met anyone special enough; there wasn't anything wrong with that. I knew plenty of people waited until marriage or didn't do the deed until their twenties.
   "Oh! Neither have I... I mean, I know how it works, I just. Harbor, should we?"
   "Do you want to?" I said, trying to hide my excitement. "We're married now, so there technically isn't anything offensive about it."
   "Yeah... I think we should. Maybe this will make it, I don't know. More official?" She walked over to the bed, lowering herself onto the edge. "Here, sit." She patted the spot next to her, as if we were about to have a heart to heart chat, instead of it. I walked over to the bed, about to sit when she pulled on my arms. She was now lying flat on her back, with me on top of her.
   We both kicked off our shoes, as I readjusted my position making it more convenient for me to slowly begin unzipping her dress. The purple fabric was silky smooth, as she shimmied out of the skirt and I tossed it to the side. She had an hourglass figure, with nude colored lingerie covering her up, keeping her modesty intact.
    Her nimble fingers crept down the front of my shirt, as she began unbuttoning it. I impatiently stopped her, quickly pulling off my top, then my khakis in one fluid motion. She looked at me seductively,  pressing her chest against mine before she whispered in me ear: "You must be excited... and we haven't even got to the main event."
   "Have you seen your body? It's hard not to be." I leaned forward to plant a kiss on her delicate lips. I slowly began moving my hand from the small of her back farther down, pulling at her panties.

   "Mmh. Mmh, Harbor." She moaned, as I began kissing her neck. "Wait!" I instantly pulled away, not knowing what had gone wrong.
   "Are you alright? What's going on?"
   "Harbor, we can't, you know have sex on a bed here. It's too normal for our situation." I sighed. I had reached my point of no return and frankly as much as I loved Maya, I didn't want to have to go out and buy five dozen rose petals and a jazz CD in my current state. "We need to do this someplace special."
   "The shower?" I suggested, not sure what counted as special.
   "It hasn't been cleaned since I arrived; there's no way. What about the fridge?"
   "It's as tall as the counter and I don't think it would be the most comfortable place..." She began discussing possible places, as I stared down at her chest. Why was a bed not good enough? I knew this was a special, romantic milestone for both of us, but I didn't think that her riding me cowgirl style on top of the coffee table was anymore ideal.

   "Hey, are you even listening? I thought of the perfect place!"
   "Where?"
   "Okay, so there's this underwater cave that's only a ten minute cab ride from here. There's an elevated spot, so the rocks are completely dry and we wouldn't have to worry about air or me being a mermaid or anything."
   "Wouldn't I have to get into my scuba gear to go to it?"
   "Yes, but wouldn't it be worth it?"
   "I suppose so..." I sighed, standing up, wishing that she had been content with average. At least she hadn't told me I had to wait until she could think of something, though. I quickly dressed in my scuba gear, as she slipped into a bathing suit and called the boat cab service.

   "Where to?" The cabbie asked us, impatiently looking at the man in scuba gear and the woman with purple hair that was Maya and I.
   "Oh, this dive spot." Maya began rambling as he took off, eager to be able to go back to the dock. As soon as we reached the dive spot that was marked with a flag, Maya dived in and I followed suit, after thanking the cabbie and paying him his outrageous price.

   "Where's the cave?" I asked, glancing around the undersea scenery.
   "Right over there." She gestured with her tail. She began swimming towards it, so I followed her hoping a shark wouldn't get curious and follow us. One attack was more than enough to end my diving career; if it wasn't for my hormones I probably wouldn't even be down here. The cave, sure enough, had an air pocket in and dry rock that was suitable enough for us to do the deed. Maya climbed onto the rock, her tail transforming into a pair of scaly legs. I carefully removed my oxygen tank and other diving equipment, sitting down on the rock next to my wife.
   "This certainly is special." I chuckled, looking into her eyes.
   "See what I mean? We'll remember this, we probably wouldn't if it was a bed or something." I leaned forwards, kissing her cheek. She thin swimsuit bottoms and seashell bra and my wetsuit and clothes were now the only layers separating us. Not as comfortable as underwear and cotton sheets, but good enough. "Shall we?" I nodded, unzipping my wet suit. Without saying anything else, she pushed me down onto my back and climbed onto of me. Her weight pressed into my abdominal region, as I nimbly removed her bra and slid her panties down. Her hands crept down my chest, pulling the wetsuit and other clothes off of me.
   "Wait. Maya." I whispered, just before we were about to become one. "We don't have protection."
   "Crap." She muttered. "Harbor, how you feel about it?"
   "I don't know, we could risk it."
   "What the hell. If nature thinks I should become a mother, then maybe I should." With that, we didn't procrastinate anymore. I suppose that our logic wasn't the best, but in that moment it seemed almost as sturdy as the cave we were in. I became a man that night, she became a woman, and we were happy for a bit. No logic needed.

Generation Seven Bloopers!

Generation Seven- Hazel