3.10: Welcome Home

     I would like to thank all of you. As The Janes Legacy nears 6,000 views, I really am realizing how lucky I am to have so many people who read and follow this blog. September has recently ended with 1,190 views, almost breaking the record for the most amount of views in one month.   

   The blog has helped improve my writing so much. I'm practicing almost everyday, thanks to the Janes and the readers who want their story to be told. I've always loved writing, but this blog has truly inspired and helped me become a better writer. I earned top marks on my final for my writing class and the teacher was over the moon with my descriptions and dialogue (that was 'Incredibly well punctuated.'). I don't mean to brag, but without you guys I probably wouldn't be as great a writer as I am today. Thank you. Now let the chapter begin!

   I rubbed my tummy as I stared out the window, in the new nursery. I was sixteen weeks pregnant and little peanut's room was finally decorated. I had redone the whole apartment; top to bottom. Peter's office had become the baby's room.
    “Oh...Peter.” I sighed. I wanted to tell him so badly...but something kept holding me back. I couldn't. I needed him. But... “Well...” I sighed I hoped the baby turned out to be a girl; I had wanted to keep the gender a surprise. I had gone with a lilac and baby blue color scheme; green or yellow wasn't my cup of tea.

    I saw the mailman drop the mail off; that was odd. My bills automatically where taken out of my bank account, also it was Tuesday in the middle of the month. All my other mail was delivered on Fridays near the beginning or end of the month.
I shrugged on my coat, ready to go check the mail. I stumbled down the steps, into the frostbitten cold. New York winters where the worst. I took my key out of my pocket and opened the postbox.
    “What?!” I screamed, staring at the title.

   "Madame G: Pregnant?!" This is horrible. I was pregnant...but I didn't want the media to know. I couldn't let Peter find out this way. I hadn't told him yet. I would, after five...six... maybe seven or eight months. After I knew nothing would go wrong. I stared at Daniel's cold face. He was in prison with two life sentences. He was on death row...I took my nail and scratched out his face, tearing the paper. I couldn't look at him. I despised him. Daniel. He was psychopathic.
    I hurried inside, shredding the tabloid into miniscule pieces, tossing it into the garbage shoot on my way up. I didn't need to read whatever was written. It would just make me angry, then stressed; something I didn't need with the baby. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Peter, probably. He called once a week and we texted at least every two days. I would tell him face to face. This isn't phone news.
    "Hello." I answered.
    "Hey." It was Peter.
    "How are you?" I replied with a bit of formality.
    "Fine. Gabrielle, I only have four more months! I've been doing extra work and taking extra courses and I've knocked two months off my time until graduation."
    "That's fabulous! I'm coming to see you graduate." Graduation. I could tell him then; wouldn't that work? "Peter, do you mind if I remodeled a little?"
    "A little?"
    "You still have a desk area any everything. I just painted and reupholstered some of the furniture...and bought some new pieces."
    "Sure." He laughed. "I can't wait until I see it."
    "You'll love it. I know you will." I knew I wasn't talking about the couch or the desk or the color of the walls. I was talking about our baby; I was just the only one who knew it.
    "I have to go. The lecture starts in a few minutes and I have a presentation."
    "Good luck. I have to go to the doctors in a few minutes, anyway."
    "Doctors? Are you okay?"
    "It's a general checkup. You know, nothing special. Love you."
    "Love you, too. If anything's wrong, you'd tell me. Right?"
    "Right. Peter. I love you. Don't ever doubt that." I hung up, sighing. He was too good for me. I knew it; he didn't.

-twenty weeks pregnant-

    "Peter. Hi." I answered the phone. "I carpeted the bedroom. Well, hired someone to."
    "I bet it looks great."
    "How did your big presentation go?"
    "Great. I'm top of the class and will probably graduate with a minor in business and English, to add to my master's of elementary education sooner than I thought."
    "Sooner than last time you said that?"
    "I'm trying to come home. I need you."
    "I need you too." I whispered.
    "Are you alright?"
    "I just miss you. So, so much. It's hard. But, I'll be fine."
    "Gabrielle, I can-"
    "I dropped out, I'll live. I'm working on my degree online."
    "Really?"
    "Peter." I giggled. "Don't sound so shocked. I'm not a campus person, but I will follow in my parent's footsteps. I'll be educated. I'll be your campus girl."
    "You don't have to be educated for me."
    "True...I...part of me is doing it for me. I need something to work for, you know? I'm writing a song. Maybe I'll sing it for you. I'm not done, yet."
    "Someone set the dorm on fire. Left the stove on."
    "Are you alright?! Peter, be okay."
    "I'm not hurt. It was during classes. I have to live in a sorority building; they're forcing everyone to roomie up so the sorority girls are all in one building and the co-ed dorms are the older sorority building."
    "That's ironic...my songs titled Fire."
    "It is." He laughed. "For geniuses, college guys are idiots."
    "You're telling me." I laughed. "I love you."
    "Love you."

-Twenty four weeks pregnant-

    I rubbed my stomach as I waited for Peter to answer. I was blowing up like a balloon. "Bonjour."
    "Huh?"
    "Hello. Peter, it's Gabrielle."
    "Gabrielle. How's your song going? "
    "I finished it."
    "Sing it."
    "Peter...I don't have my guitar with me. I'm at the store." The baby store. I was shopping for diapers and bottles and clothing.
    "You'll do fine. I bombed my exam I need something to feel better."
    "We are not video chatting again! We did that the week I cam home..." I remember how that went. I wasn't showing much; I had looked like I'd just gained a few pounds. And Peter..he was working out at the gym...just thinking of him made me want him here...we could...
    "I meant your singing."
    "Ohhh. Yeah." Six months pregnant, I don't think I could blame that on eating too much pasta and cheese cake during my record deal at a cute little bistro. He began talking gruffly; it was incredibly sexy. I blushed, knowing I wanted him just as much as he wanted me. "Peter...I'm in public!"
    "I know you sing gorgeously. Please."
    "Okay. The song's named fire." I took a breath and began singing, in the middle of the car seat aisle.

"Breaths
Stop, slowly
Wanting a love, wanting a life Tomorrow for my darling
Burning, you're my fire
The past is near, going without a fear
Breaking today, trying to be kept from being pushed away
But I love you now
And love I always will
Because you're so bright, burning for me
Lighting the path
And I can't hope without light
And I can't see without sight
Because you're a dancing ember
Tugging us on
When all is so far gone
But I love you now
And love I always will
Because you're so bright, burning for me
Lighting the path
Truths sitting around the lies
And the truth pushing forwards
For my darling, I will tell
For I always felt alone
But without my flame I am not
For you're still lighting the way
And you're my flame
That never changed
Silence
Cleans the airs
My flame destroys me
Breaking me
For I have loved without you
And I will not live without you
When my life is love
And you're love is my life
The ember will dance on
Bringing us together
Without the seed
Planted here
And I can't hope without light
And I can't see without sight
Because you're a dancing ember
Tugging us on
When all is so far gone
Because my ember is life pulling me towards you
For I have loved without you
And I will not live without you
When my life is love
And you're love is my life
With you tonight
The fire is right
And I won't burn myself with the flame."

     I took a breath. I'd written the song for my little baby. I was lost, lying to Peter. It kept me going strong. Even though I could tell him anytime, I still felt lost. "Do you like it?" He didn't reply. "Peter?"

   "I love it..it's beautiful."

   "Are you crying?"

   "No. Maybe."

   "Aww. Peter, you have a soft side." I began sniffling.

   "Are you crying now?"

   "Oui." I nodded. I'd been extra hormonal and emotional lately. Peter...

-Thirty four weeks pregnant-

   "Gabrielle are you okay?"

   "I'm exhausted, you know." I was leaning against a tree trunk, enjoying the breeze.

    "I mean..how are you? How is everything?"

    "June weather's beautiful. I walked the red carpet at the Musey's. I won a Muse for Fire being the best single by a female vocalist." Fire was a number one single for several consecutive weeks; it was my first real ballad. A Muse, awarded to the best songs and artists in the music industry was an incredible honor.

    "Good job." He didn't sound surprised. Supportive? Yes. Surprised? No.

    "How are you? I love you." I dedicated my speech to Peter, at the Musey's. I wonder if he... my heart stopped. saw. He saw the awards ceremony. I was pregnant. Eight months at the time. My stomach was huge, I had confirmed thr rumors. Peter and I where having a baby together. I just hadn't told Peter. I glanced at the pictures in my phone's photo album; maybe he didn't notice?

   He could tell. Probably. Maybe he didn't notice the bulge of my dress? Maybe on campus there was a weird media blackout, protesting some weird thing an eighteen year old thought was crazy. Peter was twenty-three, I was twenty-one. We weren't that old. I'd participate in a protest; maybe Peter was? Sugaaaaaa-shy. Shy. I was cussing. Crap. With the baby I had been trying to curb my cursing habit; I was hardly using foul language anymore.
    "Gabrielle I-"

    "Oww. I hit myself. I have to go. Sorry, I need to get a band aid." I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I looked down. My water had just broke. Crap. Crap. Crap. Not without Peter. This couldn't be happening. I need Peter. I was an idiot. I should have told him. He'll probably break up with me and-

   "Gabrielle!"
   "Peter?!" I tried spinning around, but ended up tripping. He caught me. "I'm sorry. Don't leave me. Please. I'm pregnant and my water's breaking and...I love you. I meant to tell you. I did. I'm sorry."
   "Gabrielle, I will always love you. Tell me the truth next time, okay?" He looked me in the eyes. "Let's get you to the hospital." I nodded. Peter took my hand as I hobbled to the car. I couldn't get the seat belt over my stomach, as I sat uncomfortably in the seat.
    "Peter, I haven't thought of a name." I said, as he made a sharp turn. He was going eighty-five miles an hour, edging up to almost ninety.
     "You'll think of something."
     "Peter. I'm sorry. I want you to name it."
     "What?" I felt him slam on the breaks, as I gripped the side of the seat."We;re at the hosptal. He helped me out of the car, jogging to the door.

   "I want you to name the baby." I said, as the nurses screamed. "OOOOOOOOW!" I felt like I was being stabbed. It was to late for pain meds when I arrived at the hospital, otherwise I would have gladly accepted them.
   "Push! Push!" The doctor said, loudly.
   "I am you old  fuddddd-freak! I am freaking pushing! OWW!"
   "Gabrielle," Peter took my hand. "I forgive you. I love you."
   "Thank-OW!"
   "One final push! I see the head! One more!" The doctor kept screaming. "Congratulations. It's a girl."
    "A girl?" I asked. "A girl!"
    "What would you like to name her?"
    "Peter."
    "Gabrielle, I love you. We need to raise her together. What do we want to name her?"
    "Maven?"
    "Ricki Jane?"
    "Maverick." We said in unison.
    "Welcome to the world, Maverick." The doctor smiled. "Would mommy and daddy like to hold her?"
    "Yes." We both said, smiling.

    We drove home, in happiness. I was in utter bliss and Peter had forgiven me. Everything was perfect.
    "Welcome home, Maverick." Peter said, as we stepped inside. "Woah." He stopped and looked around. "This looks great!"
    "Huh?"
    "The color. It's my favorite! And the desk. These where my favorites. I had a table like that as a kid! I opened my fifth birthday presents at it! How-? Thank you."
    "Surprise?" I laughed. "Your welcome, sweetie."
    "Maverick likes it too." Peter chuckled. "I  love you, Gabrielle. I love you Maverick"
    "I love you." I kissed his cheek. "Maverick, mommy loves you, too." This is perfect. Finally, after years of mess, everything is perfect.


-Home photos-

Living Room

Reading Room

Bedroom

 Kitchen

 Bathroom