6.1: Meeting Up

   I took a deep breath, stepping into the quiet structure. The butterflies that tormented my stomach were especially fluttery today. I couldn't blame them, I was going to meet Booker. Booker Singleton... I hoped he showed up to the meeting tonight. I was always a wreck, worried he wouldn't show, even though this was the seventeenth time we agreed to have a chat. I'd recovered. Meeting with the man was like a slightly messed up therapy session. Of course, he insisted I drag my parents along so that way they knew what was going on between us. He was worried that my parents would think something was going on that shouldn't be.
   Nothing was, sadly. It was only sad because Booker was... he was attractive. I would admit that this much was true. Especially for someone old enough to be my father. The butterflies in my stomach increased, as I thought of him. I didn't have a crush on him. That would be silly. Besides, he felt... protective towards me. More like I was a lost puppy in the rain and he was giving me a place to stay until I was well enough to be on my way. Thirteen days until my eighteenth birthday. I was legal then. My little... well, I wasn't sure how to label it. My attraction towards Booker was only one sided. I'm sure he viewed me like a sister...or a daughter.
   My heart began pumping faster, when I saw him standing there. He was cute, but I liked him just like you liked a famous movie star. You idolized them, you thought they were the hottest guy on the planet, but you knew in reality you two would never be together. That was how I felt towards Booker. It wasn't that I wanted to have some scandalous relationship, I just liked that we had this friend-friend sister-mentor relationship thingie going on.
   "Um, hey Booker." The butterflies slowly decreased. I was relaxed; I knew what was coming next.
   "Hey, Kayleigh." He smiled, looking up from his book. "Want to sit?" He gestured to the lounge chair on the right of him.
    "Sure, yeah." I sat, waiting for him to begin the conversation, like he always did.
    "How was your day?"
    "No bad. I mean, it was okay... Grace and the cheer bitches teased me about my outfit, but I overheard one of the minions whispering to the other minion about how cool she thought it was. That's something, I guess. I scored a B on my French Lit final."
    "French Lit?"
    "Really fun class. We have this girl who's from France and speaks the language and everything. It's interesting. Oh and since this is the first time our school's offered the class, they do nineteenth century the first half of the year and twentieth the second. There's a few modern-er books we get to read."
    "How do you feel?"
    "About French Lit? Uh... I like the class. I scored third highest in the class on the exam, so that's good... I'm also taking French class, so it's cool to learn the history behind the novels and read everything, along with learn the language."
    "That's nice." He laughed. "But I meant in a more general sense, not about your school."
    "Oh." I blushed. "Well.... kinda happy. I really like getting to talk to you."
    "You do?" He appeared flattered. "You know, your parents should come along whenever they want to."
    "Yeah, they're just... busy. Since Connie moved out and after I started high school, Mom started working as a cook at a restaurant. She likes having something to do and dad's like top firefighter."
    "What career would you like to pursue?"
    "Me? I kinda wanted to open my own home daycare."
    "Daycare?"
    "See, I like working with little kids. They're really sweet and don't back talk and they giggle and smile... they need you. It's like, if I ever got to the point I was a couple weeks ago, if I babysat or had a daycare, someone would need me. Those parents, those toddlers. And, I can indirectly effect a toddler's life. Teach him or her her ABCs, something the single mommy or daddy left up to the school system, and suddenly this kid has potential. I know it doesn't work exactly like that, but I want to make a difference. Children are our future, so why not take care of them?" I said everything in one big breath, hoping he understood me.
     "That's great Kayleigh. Truly inspiring."
     "Thanks. My sister loved babies and so do I, so I think it's a family thing."
     "Connie, she's your sister?"
     "Yeah. She stars in the one romcom that's comingg gout soon."
     "I may just have to treat the Janes family to tickets." Janes family. That meant me! And my parents... but me, too!
     "You? Nah, if anything we should buy you a ticket. You've been so nice and sweet to me..."
     "Kayleigh, I just wanted to help. I saw you there, that's all. Could have been anyone."
     "But it wasn't. It was you. And I'm really grateful."
     "You're welcome. But I should be thanking you."
     "Why?"
     "I'm a politician. I work at city hall and I play dirty sometimes  and... I'm not who you think I am. You help me see the good in the world." Not who I think he is? That's crazy talk, I know exactly who he is.
      "I do? Really, you aren't just saying something like that to make me blush?"
      "No, I'm honestly thankful."
      "I like you."
      "I like you, too. You're a nice kid." Kid? Kid? I wasn't a kid. I was almost legal.
      "I love you." I blurted out before I could stop myself. I glanced at Booker's face. His eyes were wide, his jaw moving, but no sound came out.
      "I-I... I'm sorry. I ju-s-st. No. We have to stop these meeting. I-I... I'm not. I didn't mean to. 'm sorry. I..." He kept stuttering on, as I tried to keep from crying. Stop these meetings? But... I needed him. Them.
      "I didn't mean it like love you, love you. I meant like a brother or uncle or something. I, please. Don't stop the meetings. I really need them."
      "We can't. No, no, no. We can't. Your a minor, I shouldn't have tried and done this... Kayleigh, I'm sorry. It would probably be best if we never talked again. I didn't think this would happen. I thought.... look, nothing... it's just..."
      "Good bye, Booker." I said, slowly. I stood up, walking slowly to the door. He didn't want to see me again? Talk to me again? Why? I didn't love him. Not like love, love him. I loved his personality and was grateful... I didn't mean... damn.
      Right foot, left foot. Right, left, right, left, right, left. Keep going. Just keep moving. You'll be home. I would have gone to the graveyard, but if I did I might prove Booker right... and have wasted his time. No, I was going home. I would throw myself on my bed and cry and change into sweats and convince mom I was on my period and that I was too sick to go to school. I didn't want Booker as a boyfriend... he overreacted. A romantic comedy would be a nice cure... funny and sweet and cheesy. Mom and dad will both go to work tomorrow and I'll be at home binging on old movies on Netflix and probably buy enough ice cream to single handily support Ben & Jerry's for the next thirty years.
    I said I love you. It wasn't my fault Booker said what he said. How did I feel? Sad. Upset. Like my pet shrew just died. Like I was repeating the questions Booker asked me when we met up. Well, Mr. Singleton, I don't need you to ask me questions. Yeah, I can do it on my own. Totally. I'm not in denial. Denial? Nope, not here. I'm fine. Really. Mr. Singleton, you'll be the wreck. Cause Kayleigh Janes doesn't care. She's fine. Hell, great. I took a deep breath. No, I wasn't fine... but nobody else knew that. Just me and myself.